Antisocial Anne.
So Dan, Suzie, and Josiah Potter left the ship today. Totally brought on a huge wave of homesickness. We went out after they left to grab some gelato, and at first I was fine, but after awhile I just really withdrew.
God, I can’t do this. I can’t do this whole “love people with all that I am” and then have them perform the vanishing act a month or so later. It’s so damn difficult for me, especially emotionally.
I felt so antisocial tonight, like I had to keep trying to come up with witty comments or funny stories to keep up with “myself”. I was like Antisocial Anne (alliteration!), whoever that is. Haha, sounds like one of those goth chick dolls you’d find on the shelf at Hot Topic.
Sometimes I really don’t know who I am at all in terms of personality other than that I am in You. Many times, that’s just not enough for me. Deep down inside, there’s the fear that I’m secretly (as in it’s even oblivious to myself) a boring, bad-tempered, lazy Asian-American girl. As corny and movie-scripted as my next statement will sound, God, I just want to learn about myself and who I really am. Teach me and allow me to have an open heart to see myself for how You made me - strengths, weaknesses, all of it.
